Valentine's Day Funnies

Valentine's Day Funnies What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What would you get it you crossed Odie with the God of love? A stupid cupid! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? "I'm sweet on you!" ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did the paper clip say to the magnet? "I find you very attractive." ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day? A hug and a quiche! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon? Desperate! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did one pickle say to the other? "You mean a great dill to me." ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Knock, Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton!" ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did the bat say to his girlfriend? "You're fun to hang around with." ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did the pencil say to the paper? "I dot my i's on you!" ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Jon: "Really?" Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!" ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn't suit his taste! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Buy Valentines Day Lingerie Online ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Why do valentines have hearts on them? Because spleens would look pretty gross! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Why should you send your sweetie a valentine? Because you always heart the one you love! ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Knock, knock! Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a great big kiss? ---------------------------------------------------------- ---------- What did one light bulb say to the other? "I love you a whole watt!"